The Kissing Killers II: Terror Cruise
by niko56
Summary: Sequel to the greatest murder story ever told! The sequel movie takes place on a cruise ship, but Gwen and Bridgette suddenly go crazy once again and start to murder there so called friends once more. Can anyone survive the madness? Only time will tell!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own not the Total Drama franchise, The Amazing Spiez, American Dad, Family Guy, any movie reference, or just about anything else...So...yeah**

Chapter 1: Prologue

YES! It's finally here! The long awaited sequel to the niko56 action packed, romantic drama, the Kissing Killers. All your favorite characters are returning, and some that aren't your favorite. As you may have read, the sequel will take place on a cruise ship on the Atlantic Ocean. The S.S. Poseidon, owned and run by our not-so-favorite host: Chris McLame...sorry, McLean. Anyway as you all know by now, the ending stemming to plot this story was the final ending to the Kissing Killers, the last one, where all the murders were a hoax, and it was all a big movie scam, orchestrated by Chris. Which is why he is making this sequel, which in the beginning goes horrible, as it wasn't as exciting or suspenseful since the characters know, it's a movie. Of wit, Gwen overhears Chris talking to one of the producers saying he is considering pulling the plug on the movie. Discouraged Gwen goes to see her love Bridgette to tell her the news. Suddenly they become stricken with rage and revenge, more real then in the original movie. They decide to become the _**real **_Kissing Killers once more. All on a roving luxury cruise ship, with no hopes of escape. Oh yeah, it's much better then the original. Of course all 22 characters return, including Chris and Chef. Also, as this takes place right after season 3, I'm adding Alejandro, Sierra, and yuck...Blaineley. Every event from season 3 already happened, the only thing I took out was obviously Bridgette and Geoff's relationship. Joey, Erin, and Jason all return, including a new ahem "Lady friend" of Geoff. As well as 2 original characters in honor of my Football and Wrestling coaches. Plus the Clark kids from the Amazing Spiez! And just cause it's gonna be freaking hilarious; Stan Smith from American Dad, and Brian Griffin from Family Guy. For now it's rated T, but that is subject to change. So enjoy the lust, enjoy the drama, enjoy the mayhem! And **PLEASE REVIEW** or else I won't update, but hey; once you read it, you'll see why your opinion matters. So sit back and relax; Niko56 Studios, in association with Fresh TV, Cake Distribution, Cartoon Network, Teletoon, Fuzzy Door productions and Marathon studios proudly presents; Nick Durdan's

_**The Kissing Killers II: Terror Cruise**_

Total Drama World Tour:

Chris McLean

Chef Hatchet

Owen Lovering

Gwen Barbiche

Heather Wu

Duncan McNally

Leshawna Louise-Pierre

Geoff LaFevre

Izzy Lovering

DJ Cudjoe

Lindsay Horvath

Bridgette Stevely

Trent Quick

Eva Koch

Harold Lauber

Courtney Lechner

Sadie Taylor

Beth Aversa

Cody Cavallero

Tyler Durdan

Katie Owens

Justin Shedlock

Noah Owens

Ezekiel Oldenburg

Alejandro Garcia

Sierra Curry

Blaineley Warmingham

Everyone Else:

Ray Liotta: as Joseph Columbo

Drew Barrymore: as Erin Gallagher

Michael J Fox: as Jason Fennel

Miranda Cosgrove: as Rachel Casserly

Coach Mike Columbo sr.: as Michael Caruso

Coach Andy Fitz: as Andy Fritz

Lee Clark

Megan Clark

Marc Clark

Tony Clark as themselves

Seth MacFarlane as: Stan Smith & Brian Griffin

Narrated by: Niko56 & Chris Rock

**That's all I got, remember to PLEASE REVIEW! And I will update asap! Please stand-by for update...One last thing, there's NO alternate endings, I guarantee you this will NOT be rated T for long, and if you don't like, leave RIGHT NOW, just DON'T Read it if you THINK you won't like it, there's tons of other people that wanna read..Thanks for understanding, and enjoy. Oh one last thing, there's not a lot of pointless smut in this one...just saying. And yes, it is THE Stan Smith from American Dad and THE Brian Griffin from Family Guy. It's gonna be HILARIOUS. **


	2. Cruise On Poseidon

**I still own nothing**

**Well, here it is, showtime, the moment we've all been waiting for! Enjoy the romantic humorous drama that awaits...and the horror. So PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! And enjoy, one last thing, no murder in this chapter, sorry; but tons of humor, k; here it is...**

Chapter 2: Cruise On Poseidon

_And congratulations to Cody Barbiche on making his 100th career win at 103 lbs. This is for you Cody!_

"Gwen...oh Gwen...wakey wakey Gwen." Bridgette whispered seductively in the Goth's ear, causing her to smile.

"Good morning beautiful." Gwen awoke to find out Bridgette was right on top of her. They were on the bed in their suite on the cruise ship the S.S. Poseidon, a massive cruise ship docked in New Jersey's Atlantic City Marina, ready to set sail in the hour.

"How did you sleep cutie?" Bridgette asked getting right up in her face.

"Pretty good." they kissed softly "Was thinking about you last night."

"Really, I was thinking of you too." Katie&Sadie much? "I had a really hot dream about us." Bridgette lay on the bed and Gwen got up, the blonde was checking her out.

"Really." Gwen purred "Tell me."

"It was weird, Owen was in it for some reason, and we were-"

"Uh, never mind." Gwen insisted

"Oh okay fine...you showering?" Bridgette asked

"Yup, you coming?"

"Of course..." I have had some of the best conversations of my life in the shower. We tend to get our best thoughts when wet...oh someone beat me to that punch, but who...seriously help me out here.

"Ready to set sail?" Gwen asked shampooing her midnight blue and dark hair

"Oh yeah, I know were making the sequel but I NEED this vacation."

"And how." Gwen agreed

"And it's nice to know it's just really us, on this huge cruise liner, and no annoying tourists getting in the way."

"Agreed." Speaking of annoying tourists, one man has just entered through the gangway, his sleek short dark hair, strong chin, well built upper body would tell you he is a strong American with the right wing opinions to boot, his name, is Stanley Smith. Or Stan. He got a good whiff of the air inside the massive promenade

"[sniff] Ah, fresh good clean American gasoline filled air." he said, passing one of the cafe's he noticed several familiar faces, Owen, Justin, Alejandro, and Duncan. "Excuse me gents, can I have a word?"

"I don't know if you can, but you may." Noah said

"Oh ha ha guys, that's real funny." Stan snarled "Look, can you tell me where I might find the suites?"

"What the hell do I look like a f*cking map?" "This thing is huge, and another thing-" Duncan was cut short by Stan grabbing him be the collar "Oh God I'm afraid."

"Listen you, I can turn your world upside down real fast so I suggest you DO NOT agitate me, got it?" Stan sneered

"Whoa, don't get your tampon up too tight, I'll relax." Duncan agreed

"Good." Stan clearly ignored the comment and dropped him

"Look amigo there's a map over there, I'm sure you'll find your suite." Alejandro assured him

"Oh thank you, see there's a nice guy; what's your name stranger?" Stan asked

"Alejandro, you've never seen us, were TV stars."

"Huh...Uh...nope."

"Total Drama?" "Ring any bells?" Justin asked

"Wasn't that a movie?" Stan asked

"No it's a reality TV show, we were named best show on Cartoon Network and Teletoon in 2010 and 2011." Owen explained

"Teletoon, so it's Canadian then, right?" Stan asked

"Yes sir, we're all good Canadians here." Justin said proudly

"Yeah sorry guys I only watch American television, but I am stoked that I get to be an extra in the movie being filmed on this thing; The Kissing Killers II: Terror Cruise, sounds like a great film." "That's how the kids say it right, stoked, like you're stoked to do something, it's also an awesome show."

"Yeah it's a Canadian show." Owen interjected

"What was?"

"Stoke-never mind." Duncan slapped his forehead

"Yeah this film is supposed to be good, look the screenplay was written by Seth MacFarlane, ah Seth; what a champ, the script was written by some kid...Nick...Dur...dan." "Oh, like the fight club guy, well I best not keep you gents from...you know, eating some ham you call bacon, playing hockey or preserving air, see ya." Stan walked away

"Well he's officially the weirdest guy I ever met." Duncan said in his usual emotionless way

"Agreed."

"Couldn't agree more."

"Totally."

"Well gentlemen it's been fun but I got a hot wifey to attend to." Owen said standing up

"Don't you mean 'crazy' Owen?" Justin asked

"Be that as it may." The fat blonde stated

"Oh I forgot to ask, how are the twins?" Duncan asked

"Ah, Robbie and Sharon are the cutest little babies in the whole world...you guys think it was wise for Izzy's parents to watch over them on this vacation, or should I have asked my parents?"

"I'll be honest with you Owen, I would sooner put them in the trust of total strangers." Duncan admitted

"Well I'm off." Owen walked away

"Ya know, he's not the weirdest guy." Duncan added going back to Stan.

"Who is then?" Alejandro asked

"That talking dog, uh...Bryce or Brian or something."

Speaking of the white furry dry Brian, he was perusing the poolside lounge on the fiesta deck, heading for the bar.

"Uh hi, Martini, dry; if you would." he asked

"Coming right up sir." the surrogate bartender smiled happily.

"Hey cool, a talking dog." Trent noticed, him and Noah were next to him sipping some milkshakes

"Yes, yes I'm a dog who can talk." Brian added with a sip of his drink

"Well it's official, I have seen it all." Noah nodded

"Didn't Chris say though we were supposed to have this cruise exclusive?" Trent asked "Granted a talking dog is mad awesome...not exactly exclusive."

"Uh, thanks." "Names Brian by the way." Brian said in his emotionless state "And actually the State suites are open to all who can afford them, I myself needed this little vacation from my family." Brian took another sip "They can get very we-" "Crap." Brian's phone rang "Hold on a sec guys...What Stewie?"

"_Brian, I'm trying to use Netflix, but it won't let me watch the movie."_

"That's because you have to wait until they mail it to you."

"_What the deuce?" "Well what a rip off I thought you could watch movies right from your TV."_

"That's only some movies, and they're all complete crap.""What did you get anyhow."

"_Well I got Despicable Me because I can really relate to Gru, he's just like someone I would admire, tall, strapping, and evil."_

"...I forgot you were gay."

"_Oh Brian, your so jaded...Hey when you get back, want some pie with cool hwip...Everything always tastes better just smothered in cool hwip...want some cool hwip?"_

"Goodbye Stewie." [disconnects] "Sorry guys." Brian turned back to Trent and Noah.

"Who was that?" Trent asked

"No one, so anyway, it's also a great opportunity for me to meet you Total Drama guys."

"Really?" Noah asked feeling important.

"Oh yeah I've seen all you guys, from the humble beginnings of Wawanakwa, to being here on this cruise ship." Brian smiled finishing his drink

"Wow that's so cool." Trent added

"And if anything I'm trying to get Chris McLean's attention, see I wrote this book called "Faster Than The Speed Of Love" and I'd like for him to maybe like it and turn it into a major motion picture."

"Well good luck Brian, if I know Chris he can be sort of a-" Noah was interrupted by Someone gently kiss his ear and neck...And it wasn't Cody.

"Hey baby."

"Hey Katie." "Oh sorry, Brian this is my fiance Katie, Kate, this is Brian Griffin."

"Hey."

"Hi nice to meet you, and congratulations for you both."

"Oh thank you." she motioned to Noah "After we make the movie, were gonna get married on this ship."

"Well that sounds just lovely." Brian smiled. "You know if you're both looking for a honeymoon spot Quahog Rhode Island has-" Brian stopped himself to see Noah and Katie not pay attention but instead make out. "Eh, never mind."

"You know Noah, the janitor's closet right inside is very quiet..." she chuckled

"Oh-ho, you don't have to tell me twice." the two held hands and walked away ignoring Sadie who was right next to them

"Katie...Katie...what the hell!" Sadie sneered "My own best friend doesn't even have time for me anymore...cause shes spending it with her stupid fiance...who should be gay with Cody, but no; it was all some stupid dream the people of FanFiction blew way out of proportion, barkeep; beer me!" Sadie shouted.

"Uh, okay but you are not of age-"

"Not in Alberta I'm not." she slurred taking sips of her beer. Trent and Brian shot her weird looks "Oh hi, I'm Sadie."

"Brian Griffin." Brian saw Trent sight "Aw, what's got you down Trent, tell doctor Brian."

"I don't know Brian, it's kinda weird."

"I'm a talking dog, top that."

"Well since you put it that way, I used to love Gwen, I still do, then I find out she liked Duncan, is piratically engaged to Bridgette, and I'm...in the dust." he sighed

"Aw come on Trent, I've had my ups and downs in dating and look how fine I turned out."

"I've seen Family Guy, you're not fooling anyone."

"Well look at the bright side...at least you're not gay."

"That is true."

"Ha, you would never catch me doing anything like that." Sadie added finishing her beer.

"Sadie come off it already, we all know you had a foursome with Noah, Katie, and Eva, and you and I both know you two are secretly dating and she shaved her uni-brow."

"Shut-up." suddenly Sadie felt someone grab her plus sized waist from behind.

"Ev-[mhmnmhmnmmhm]"

"I couldn't go all morning without doing that." she whispered seductively

"Gay." Was all Trent had to say.

"Hey Eves, lets go somewhere quiet, because SOME PEOPLE are being rude."

"Well the NERVE IF SOME PEOPLE!" Eva yelled "Hey, lets go to the janitors closet next to where Katie and Noah are, and moan extra loud." she whispered

"Ooh, I like that." Eva carried Sadie off bridal style.

"Wow, this is a weird show." Brian added

"Bri, you ain't seen nothing yet." Trent smirked

"Well you know-" Brian stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. "Trent...who is that gorgeous piece of woman?"

"You mean Leshawna?"

"No the blonde."

"That's Geoff, he's a boy."

"No no no no, the sorta chubby one."

"Ew, you mean Blaineley!"

"Yeah her."

"I thought you saw the show."

"But I never remembered her...shes so...stunning."

"Yeah if you like vomit." Trent groaned. Brian's tail went a-wagging as she took a seat next to him.

"Barkeep, give me something gay sounding and fruity."

"Coming right up Miss. Blaineley."

"[cough] Mildred [cough]" Trent coughed, Blaineley scowled at him

"So, Blaineley...that uh...French for something?" Brian asked

"Her names Mildred."

"Shut-up!" "And you are?" she asked

"My names Brian."

"And I'm not interested, grow some skin and we'll talk." she took her beverage and walked off. "And no Ezekiel, the dog has a better chance at getting with me then you!"

"Aw come on, eh; why not, I'm back to normal." Zeke pleaded

"You were NEVER normal, you were just worse on the plane."

"Aw come on, this trip bites." Zeke hung his head, and walked off.

"She'll be back." Brian wasn't the least bit phased.

"Good luck." Trent sighed

Now skipping to Harold and Leshawna who were doing couples sunbathing.

"Okay, remind me again why you're sunbathing?" Harold asked

"Cause sugar, I like the sun, gives me that all around choco-feeling."

"Right...Did you know-"

"Aw shut up Harold and lets get dirty, it's been so long since I've gotten a taste of your skinny tooth pick body, come here suga!"

"Yes ma'am!" Harold jumped on his girl and the two enjoyed a sweet kiss. Speaking of two people that aren't so sweet.

"COOOOOOOOOODY!"

"AHHHHH, get away from me Sierra, I am not in love with you!" Now I know how Susan Test feels.

"Yes you are, you just won't admit it!"

"Stay back, I got a towel and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"Ohmigosh, you touched this towel, I'll treasure it forever, me little 2nd runner up." she said caressing the towel, barely noticing Cody sneak away towards the pool. "CODY!"

"Ah-[splash]" she hugged tackled him into the pool.

"Wow, what a weird couple." Geoff added, he watched in the hot tub along with DJ, Joe, Erin, and Tony Clark.

"Poor Cody, he's a tough kid too...but even the toughest guy on earth can't possibly deal with Sierra." Joe chuckled

"Speaking of couples, how are you and Rachel Geoff?" Erin asked

"Ah no, don't start with the whole couples thing, ever since Heather left me for Alejandro, he's all she talks about, I don't wanna hear another word about couples." DJ said crossing his arms.

"And how Deej, I have struck out with every woman I've ever tried to ask out...I'm still a 12 year old virgin!" Tony added

"Uh...that's just fine Tone...you keep your V-card for another several, 10 years or so." Ray said

"Ha ha ha." Tony sarcastically laughed. "At least my baby didn't get aborted, DJ!"

"Oh, Heather wasn't actually pregnant, false alarm." DJ sighed

"It's okay DJ, you're not missing much." Erin chuckled

"Yeah seriously, it's all a bunch of screaming kids and they all don't like each other." Joe continued. Suddenly Lee appeared behind Tony.

"Hey Tone."

"Go away Lee, grownups are talking." Tony scoffed

"Well then, why are you there-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lee-[splash]" Lee picked his little brother from the tub and tossed him into the pool.

"Hey, no fair Lee you said you wouldn't do that...you swore on the swing set." Tony sobbed

"Yeah, you're so grownup Tony." Lee smirked taking his little brother's spot "So, what are we talking about?" he asked. He was interrupted by

"Oh Geoffy."

"Ah, hey Rach baby." he said greeting his very attractive girlfriend as she entered the tub. Rachel has nice long flowing poofy red hair, a slender body, a bigger bust then you know who, and a hotter butt.

"Oh Geoff I'm glad we are together, no where were we?" she asked

"We were here." and like you know Geoff enjoys doing...they made out like animals

"Aw screw this, I'm out." Joe said exiting the jacuzzi

"Ditto."

"See ya."

"Bye y'all."

"Adios."

I'll give the lad this, at least he's gotten over you know who." Joe said.

"Yeah he was such a sad sack." Lee agreed

In the Olympic sized exercise room, Izzy and Jason were getting shape on the treadmills

"Whoa, hell yeah...three...miles...holy sh*t I'm too old for this." Jason panted

"Ya-hoo, Izzy's impressed, 12 miles, yee-haw, I might have had a major c-section, but I still got it!" she said having eyes on the prize.

"You're lucky Iz, your good years are still ahead of you...me...I'm a 32 year old pile of dying youth."

"Did you say something Jason?" Izzy asked taking her headphones from her ears

"[sigh] Never mind."

"Ahem." Izzy saw Owen across the weight room with his shirt off.

"Whoa big O, is that you or super big O?"

"Owen...is that uh...four pack?" Jason asked in disbelief

"Yeah, all those crunches, weight lifting, and the weight loss food Dan Marino advertizes really paid off." "And I weighed in at 285 solid." He approached Izzy

"Yeah you know I love you Owey, but you didn't have to drastically change yourself for me." she said batting her eyes

"No it's cool, you remember at thanksgiving when your dad called me a fat sack of lazy ass crap, that inspired me...10 months later here I am."

"Uh...you do realize you stepped on his foot that's why he called you that...right?"

"Aw." Owen sighed

"Well who cares, you look great." she jumped into his arms and gave her hubby a kiss.

"Aw man, I have got to pick it up." Jason panted

"Turn it up, okay Jase." Izzy said turning up the speed on Jason's treadmill

"No no no no no Izzzzzzzzzzzzy-[smash]" he launched off the back and landed in an awkward position...so awkward, lets just say he was on his back and starring at his own ass.

"Ouch." Izzy and Owen didn't realize it as they went right to bench pressing. Megan and Marc came to Jason's rescue

"Jason!" Marc yelled

"You okay?" Megan added, the two spies got him out of his awkward position

"...I'm hurt now..." the detective moaned

"Aw man, we gotta get you to the nurse asap." Marc said, the two carried Jason from the weight room

"Such nice children." he groaned

"Jason, Jason, try not to talk." Megan urged him. And meanwhile, Lindsay and Tyler just left her suite after a little fornication of their own...

"Oh Lindsay, that was soooooooo, soooooo awesome." Tyler said getting his sh*t together

"I know right, do I know my way around a shaft or what." the busty blonde smirked

"Your so awesome." "And you remembered my name...AGAIN!" Tyler cheered

"Yay, breakthrough." she clapped "You know, we got awhile before we have to go filming again." she moved her finger around Tyler's chest

"Baby you knock me out."

"I know." They started to make out again, and moved around the hallway in a comical fashion. They eventually fell into a dark, though empty storage closet, and Frenched the tongue if you will...Wait, French the tongue? Where the f*ck did that come from, that was WAY out of context...anyway Heather was walking passed that same closet not so long after, when she heard an ahem and a hand gently caress her butt. She turned around

"Alej-[mmhmnmhmnm]" couldn't even finish the sentence when the lips touched by an angel then smudged by the devil met her's.

"Hey baby."

"What took you so long to find me?" Heather asked seductive like

"Ugh, aye-carumba, there's this idiot, Americanized Yankee tourist that's itching for an ass kicking, that just bought a state suite." the Latino groaned "I'd kick his ass except...I'm pretty sure he could kill me."

"[Gasp] Kill you, but you're Alejandro Burromuerto-Garcia, you can do anything." Heather said semi-sarcastic jumping into his arms and stroking his 'perfect' chest.

"Heather I may be good, but for a guy whose job is to kill people...I am nothing...he's huge, and in the CIA."

"Oh great." Heather groaned "A hard ass, what's his name?"

"Ugh, Stan Smith...although I liked that dog."

"Yeah he's cool." Heather added "You thinking what I'm thinking?" the raven haired harpie asked

"You go in the dark closet and I get to hardcore f*ck your tight little ass?" Whoa whoa, easy does it Al, this is still a kids show.

"Hell yeah!" They walked into the closet, unknowing of Tyler and Lindsay being there. And last but not least Courtney walked passed when she noticed a hand slap her ass

"[Gasp]" she turned around and was immediately assaulted by Duncan lips

"[mhmnmhmnmhmnmhmm]" they released

"I'm so sorry I kissed Gwen, but your so stupid trying to change me." Duncan finally said

"But you're so repulsive and annoying." she smiled

"But..."

"But I can't get away from you." They made out again "Time for Kissing Killer number 3 to have her way with you...aren't I a bad ass actress?" she asked

"No Princess, you're just a bad ass!" "Even though you like girls."

"I hate you so much." got her back against the door "Just cause I am a born again bisexual doesn't mean I don't want you...on occasion." she said flipping her hair and batting her eyes

"Really, I bet Gwenny gave you some time on the plane."

"No Dunky..." she pulled him in close "I punished her hard after what you and her did...and I mean hard. _Attention, small children; please do not read the next sentence. _"I dominated her tight bod and f*cked her hard in her tight little ass, then spanked it...I got it from Lindsay." she whispered..._k it's safe to read now_

"Whoa...where did she-"

"I don't know...now times a wasting, lets go." they entered the closet...

"Wait a sec...what the?" Duncan realized something wasn't right, and he turned the light on

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The three couples darted from the closet completely embarrassed

"Whoa Chef, did you get that?" Beth asked snapping photos

"Sure did Beth, man this article for TIME, People, and Celebrity Manhunt is gonna be a hit!" Chef wooed

"All the major tabloids love celebrity gossip."

"And we are gonna make millions, screw Chris and his money, come on, we got more work to do." Chef insisted

"Yeah, like think of catchy titles, how about...6 Canadians teens fornicate in a closet unknowingly they were all in there." Beth shrugged

"Uh...you might wanna leave the creative stuff to me Beth."

"Okay, suit yourself."

And now to the docks where Wrestling coach Andrew "Andy" Fritz did a piss-poor parking job into a parking spot right by the boat

"You idiot, I can't believe you got us lost." Football coach and teaching colleague Michael "Mike" Caruso bellowed

"I did not get us lost, the GPS is clearly set for-

"_Malfunction, malfunction system shutting dowwwwwwww." _Was all the machine bleeped before closing down

"Case closed." Mike shouted

"Okay so were lost!" Andy followed

"Great, just great Andy, now were never gonna make it to the coaches summit in East Rutherford, because we, are 237 miles south in ATLANTIC CITY!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"No, not till you get us to the summit, I can't believe I let you talk me into taking one car to...save the planet." Mike mocked, then the fog horn on the boat blasted

"Ya know what, f*ck this, f*ck the summit." Andy grabbed his stuff from the trunk

"Where you going..." "Fritz..." he turned around "Where ya going?" Mike asked

"Enjoying myself, I'm taking a cruise, and don't think your gonna stop me." Andy started for the ticket counter. Mike grabbed his stuff and followed

"Andy, Andy, you can't just leave for a week long cruise."

"Sure I can, watch me." Andy went up to the counter.

"Hi."

"Hey, uh...how does one get on this here cruise ship?" Andy asked

"Better make that two."

"Oh, so you're coming with me now?" Andy sarcastically smirked

"Well mostly cause you have the keys."

"Close enough."

"Well fellas uh see this cruise ship has been rented out to film a sequel movie, Nick Durdan's The Kissing Killers II: Terror Cruise."

"Hence the cruise." Mike chuckled

"Exactly, except, sorry it's only for the cast." she said

"Drat, guess we'll just have to-"

"However." she interrupted Mike

"What, however, what?" Andy asked

"The Large State Room Sites can be bought by civilian tourists, however they are very expensive."

"Darn, seemed to have left my wallet at home, you got this, right homez?" Mike asked, Andy got out his checkbook

"Sure sure, ya know Mike we work hard all year, coaching and teaching, and we deserve this time to unwind and getaway from it all and-"

"Your dual suite will be $5,000."

..."HAH!" Andy slurred

"This suite is 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a full balcony, you will have complete access to the ship, this covers all ship expenses, food, etc...and you two will have a cameo in the movie being filmed." she smiled Andy's mouth was agape

"...5...thousand...dollarrrrrrrrrrs." He sobbed painfully writing the check, Mike just silently chuckled behind him.

"And all of the ship staff are robotic surrogates that will not except tips and will do MOST of your bidding." two butlers approached them

"May we take your bags to your suite sir?"

"Yes Garcon, and make it snappy!" Andy yelled

"Sir it's pronounced _Gar-son _the c sounds like an s-"

"I don't care, at the price I paid for this room I will call you bitch if I want to, so take my things to my room BITCH!"

"Uh, very good sir." Mike carried his own bags

"Enjoying yourself?"

"I hate you so much."

"That's the price you pay for getting us lost, oh and by the way, I had my wallet."

"Wha...WHAT!" Andy angrily chased Mike up the gangway and into the ship, about to set sail. And last but not least Chris sat in his secret office talking over some old guy on a monitor...Cause there has to be some kind of cliffhanger in this chapter.

"So, Doctor Steiner, you are sure this will work?" Chris asked

"Oh ja heir McLean, zhe microchips are guaranteed to vork exactly how you vant zhem too, and I only gave you a small amount so use zhem visely."

"And not to worry, I know exactly who to use them on."

"Vell good luck, oh; how is zhe movie vorking?" Steiner asked

"Excellent...ly terrible, that's why I wan this plan b...that way...I'll have my awesome movie...even if heads have to roll." he smirked

"Vell, if that's vhat you vant for be it from me, and zhey vill be under your complete control, no bugs, small side effects...zhey vill be putty in your hands...I should know."

"Excellent, thank you Doctor Steiner, oh good luck on the Nova-6 project."

"Ha ha ha...sank you old friend, good luck, and Aufveidersan." the transmission ended.

"Perfect, now incase this movie goes south, I will have the ultimate horror movie...with REAL horror."

**Wow, see a lot going on already. Like what is Chris planning? Whats with all the romance? Why is Chef and Beth trying to get rich off of being a paparazzi? Why is Owen suddenly fit all of the sudden? What does Andy and Mike look like? Who is Doctor Steiner, and what do these microchips do? Why is Stan Smith and Brian Griffin suddenly in this? Why is Sadie suddenly gay with Eva? All this will be answered in due time. **The current couples are as follows; GwenxBridgette, LeshawnaxHarold, GeoffxRachel, IzzyxOwen, EvaxSadie, NoahxKatie, AlejandroxHeather, DuncanxCourtney, CourtneyxGwen...hmm...Cody and not really Sierra, TylerxLindsay, and maybe more. So **PLEASE REVIEW!** I'm sure you will...please stand by...for update...Man this was long. Like really long.


	3. DC Comics Present: A MARVELous Failure

**Alright boys...and girl...you are a girl aren't you? (she nods) This country.**

**-S. Smith**

**Alright y'all this is where things start to suck just a little bit less, but of course there is some good and bad humor along the way...Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!**

Chapter 3: DC Comics Present: A MARVELous Failure

Mike and Andy stood flabbergasted in the main lobby of the ship. Mike was so dumbfounded he dropped his bags...right on Andy's foot...Damn that must have hurt

"Man...this place is-[thud]-OW!"

"...Awesome..." Mike said mouth agape finishing the sentence

"You bastard, ow, that hurt!" Andy complained gripping his foot.

"Rub some dirt in it sissy wrestler, come on, lets go to our room." Mike insisted.

He took his bags and Andy followed grumbling. They stepped into the glass elevator

"Glass elevator...classy."

"Yeah it's nice."

The two walked through the Suite hallway to find there's.

"Here we are, super suite 12." Andy said opening the door, they were stopped by their next door neighbor greeting them

"Ah, hello new neighbors." Stan enunciated happily

"Hey." Andy said

"Sup homez." Mike added

"Names Smith...Stan Smith, C.I.A." he approached them

"Didn't exactly ask you for your name or occupation, but okay." Andy rolled his eyes opening the door. "Andy Fritz, Math Teacher, Wrestling Coach Delaware Valley High School."

"Mike Caruso, History Teacher, Football Coach, Delaware Valley High School."

"Nice, well I won't keep you both." Stan exited

"Man, he's weird." Mike shook his head

"I kinda like him, he shows initiative."

"Must you counter everything I say?"

"Yup, but you will agree this suite is freaking sweet!" Andy jumped

"You are a grown man, yet you act like you're 12." Mike said noticing Andy jump on the bed

"Yeah, so what? What's your point?"

"So...never mind." Mike sighed they heard an ahem, and Chris entered their suite.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" he asked

"Ah yes good sir, two mimosas if you please ." Mike insisted

"First off, I'm no robotic butler, second; how did you two get here?"

"Uh, excuse me." Andy stopped jumping "After the 5 grand I paid for this trip, we ain't going anywhere."

"What he said." Mike added

"Oh, alright." Chris rolled his eyes "Well filming will begin in an hour or so if you both want your cameo I suggest you both be there." he continued "Oh, and tonight's dinner party at 6 o'clock, the theme is favorite super hero or super villain, enjoy yourselves gentlemen, and welcome to the S.S. Poseidon, blah, blah blah." Chris exited

"What a douche." Mike exclaimed bluntly

"I know, must be the director." Ha there's a knee slapper "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the pool." Andy literally tore his close off revealing his Hawaiian swim trunks. Damn, Clark Kent's got nothing on him.

"Thank God, time for some quiet." Mike turned off the lights and took a nap.

Meanwhile Chris was stopped by Brian.

"Oh Mr. McLean!"

"Aw crap." Chris muttered under his breath "Mr. Griffin, what can I do for you?" he asked with a fake smile

"If I could just have a moment of time, you see you're a big time producer."-no he's not- "And I'm a story writer, I actually wrote a bestseller."-cough it sucked cough- "Called Wish It, Want It, Do It, and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to read my first novel Faster Then The Speed of Love, you'll love it, it might be the next major motion picture." Brian said tail wagging.

"Well sure Brian I will gladly read your novel." Chris said taking the manuscript "And remember, the party theme this evening is favorite superhero or super villain, don't forget." he said still with his fake smile

"Okay thanks, and hey; don't forget to read." Brian smiled

"Oh I won't."

Chris turned around and promptly threw Brian's in the nearest recycle bin. He threw off his fake smile and sighed

"God, I always wanted to know a dog who could talk but this is ridiculous." he sighed

Turning a corner Chris ran into Chef who had on a mischievous grin, he was carrying a platter of milkshakes and trying to get Beth off his back.

"Uh yeah Beth, we can process the pictures later, I'm uh...uh very busy right now...Jeez, oh hey Chris."

"Hey Chef, do you have the milkshakes, wink wink?"

"Why yes Chris I do have the milkshakes." Chef winked

"Good...and did you make sure to put Doctor Steiner's mind controlling microchips inside the milkshakes?" Chris asked

"Uh...I thought the talking in enunciated syllables and winking was implying that."

"Riiiiiiiight, well I can take it from here." Chris grabbed the platter

The seemingly evil host approached the sky deck where every character minus; Mike, Stan and Brian, were enjoying themselves around the small water park, rock wall, pool and mini golf course.

"Hey everyone, I got milkshakes!" Chris yelled

"What?"

"Milkshakes!"

"Me want milkshakes!" Everyone yelled rushing the host

"Okay one for Lindsay." Chris said handing it to the clueless as usual blonde.

"Yay-[slurp slurp slurp]"

"Now be sure to finish the whole thing, okay." Chris winced

"Kay!" Lindsay gave him a thumbs up sipping

"Lets see one for Courtney."

"Aw I want the chocolate one." she complained not liking the strawberry one Chris gave her

"Ugh, fine."

"Yes!"

"Lousy diva." he muttered "Okay one for Heather."

"Sweet."

"One for...hmm." he thought to himself _Who would make an easy target to control? _"Izzy."

"Yay, me want milkshake..." she slurped

"Ah...Vanilla..." Owen swooned

"Robbie's favorite." Izzy added gulping it down

"And one for Duncan."

"No thanks I'll pass." he threw the glass to the ground it spilled everywhere

"Dude what the hell!" Chris yelled

"Whats the big deal we got a ton more milkshakes where that one came from right?"

"Uh yes, right...of course."

"Don't tell me there's a mil-"

"Shut up Duncan!" Leshawna randomly yelled

"Thanks Leshawna...and one for Geoff."

"Right on, lets share it babe." he said adding another straw.

"Sure-"

"NO SHARING!" Chris yelped

"Jeez alright! Calm down." Geoff freaked

"And...one for...Tony."

"Yes." the raven haired brunette did a little victory dance with his shake.

"Hey, can't I get one?" Lee asked

"Nope, sorry." Chris said turning away

"What the hell!" Joe yelled

"Yeah you got two more there!" Cody added

"These are for Gwen and Bridgette." Chris explained

"Wait wait wait...since when did YOU become the errand b-"

"GWEN AND BRIDGETTE!" he shouted interrupting Noah "Oh, and filming starts in a half an hour so get ready." He added before walking away.

"Okay...someones pms-ing." Katie chuckled

"Seriously I DO NOT get my mom's obsession with Chris." she added holding Cody...very tightly I might add

"Who cares." Erin shrugged

"Yeah he's always been a wee bit strange." Jason added with a slight Irish accent.

"Trust me, he's acting weirder then usual." Trent stated

"Bullsh*t." Joe chuckled getting a smoothie from the juice bar

"No Trent's right Joey, I've never seen him get this worked up over something so insignificant as a milkshake." Eva continued the suspicion

"Somethings clearly up with him." Harold continued

"Well, no matter what of the suspicion may be, he makes a damn good milkshake." Izzy said finishing hers.

Suddenly out of nowhere Andy jumped into the pool

"CANNONBALL!"-[kersplash!]

"Ah, Damn!" Blaineley yelled as Andy's backsplash ended up on her

"Ha, sorry about that." Andy said getting out of the pool

"Uh excuse me, who are you?" she asked

"I'm Andy Fritz, and more importantly, who are you?" he retorted

"I beg your pardon!" she and everyone else gasped

"Dude, new guy just pissed off Blaineley." Marc whispered to Duncan

"I know...I like this guy."

"I'll have you know that I am Blaineley O'Callahan-Warmingham, former host of Celebrity Manhunt, co-host of Total Drama, the-Hey, where you going!" she notice Andy walk away

"You were boring me." he said not looking back

"Ugh, I'm going to hate him!" she yelled

"Well come little miss Queen Diva, we start filming in 15 minutes, lets go everyone." Joe ordered

Anyway Chris walked through the hallway inside to see Gothy aka New Heather aka Gwen holding hands real close to Malibu aka surfer girl aka Bridgette.

"You know Gwen, later there's something I gotta tell you."

"What is it?" she asked surprised

"Ah, it's a surprise-"

"Ladies."

"Hey Chris." they both said

"Hello girls, may I interest you both in milkshakes?" he asked

"No."

"No thanks, gotta watch my slim fig-"

"DRINK THEM!"

"Okay, okay." the girls drank the shakes right in front of the hostile host who just smiled

"Thank you ladies, now lets go, filming is in a few minutes, can't have my stars late for the what will be the greatest film of my life."

"Also the only one." Gwen whispered, Bridgette chuckled

"What was that?" Chris asked

"Nothing."

The film set was just a fake hallway set and something like a lounge that was made just for the film. Because of Chris's low budget, he used the cast-mantes not in the scene to do the film work. Stan, Mike, Andy and Brian had just entered.

"Dude, now this is a film set." Andy said

"Very good Fritz, you know what a film set looks like." Mike said sarcastically.

"Oh ha ha funny-NOT." Andy retorted

"I dunno I thought it was funny." Brian shrugged

"Shut-up Dog!" Andy yelled

"Hey uh, Mr. McLean, when exactly do we get to be IN the movie?" Stan asked

"You'll get your cameos-in fact, uh..." Chris pondered looking at them... "You Smith, get over here."

"Ha-FACE!" he cheered putting his hand in their faces.

"Okay all you gotta do is stand up by the piano and go along with what Ty and Cody are doing."

"Can do." Stan cheered again and jumped up by the duo.

"Okay, all of you pay attention, Bridgette and Gwen you two have Heather and Alejandro; who have just made love by this table, cornered. Say your lines then on the cue, Tyler, Cody, and Stan; you three will throw the net on top of them, and that's scene, savvy?" Chris explained

"Sure, but uh...what's my motivation?" Stan asked Chris slapped his forehead

"Oh God...JUST IMPROVISE!"

"Man he has been yelling a lot lately." Tyler whispered

"Alright Kissing Killers II Scene Take One."

"And action."

"Ha, we got; you now."

"...Oh no, it is the K-Kissing Killers-"

"Cut, cut...Heather, what the hell was that?" Chris asked

"That was acting." she said in her usual arrogant way

"Ha, you call that acting?"

"Blaineley put a sock in it." Chris sneered

"Yeah Blaineley." Heather added

"And you, that enunciating and stuttering SUCKED ASS, do it right!" Chris yelled

"Okay."

"Kissing Killers II Scene, take two."

"Action."

"Ha, we got you now."

"Oh no, not the Kissing Killers!" she jumped into Alejandro's arms

"What ever, should we dope- I mean do, I said do!"

"Ugh...Cut. Alejandro you gotta be kidding me." Chris groaned

"This is gonna be a long film shoot." Mike whispered to Andy

"I know."

Take Three."

"What ever will we do, please space us Gwen and-Sh*t!"

"Take nine."

"You two aren't going any-whoa-[falls]" Bridgette tripped over her own two feet

"Take 23."

"Ha, say goodnight Tyler and Cody-oops."

"Were Tyler and Cody Gwen!"

"I realize that now!"

"Take 56."

"Well...ugh, line?"

"Take 91."

"You're not going anyplace-where, I think."

"Take 152."

"Hey Chris what if I jump in with my gun instead of...oh sorry are we filming, sorry."

"Take 285."

"And why are we using a net anyhow, they got guns...aw are we filming again, dammit Stan, get your head in the feakin' game, sorry sorry it won't happen again."

"Take 871."

"Were gonna-"

"Eat Net you-oh...too early?"

"Take 3,107."

"And why are we behind a piano, that won't help us?"

"STAN!"

"Take 25,001."

"Oh please let heater live take me!"

"Take 342,906."

"What's my motivation, seriously?"

"Take 1,861,112."

"So...is this a comedy, or a thriller, you can't say both?"

"Cut, Cut, CUUUUUUT!" Chris shouted "Okay guys...we've had only a million takes, and have...absolutely no film whatsoever...but that's okay, tomorrows another day, remember the dinner party theme tonight is favorite superhero or super villain...see you there." Chris walked away...sobbing.

"Oh boy Bridge, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Gwen asked

"Batgirl and Supergirl?"

"YES!"

"Quickly, lets go-wait..." Bridgette stopped to see Geoff and Rachel

"What, what's wrong?" Gwen asked

"Gwen, whose that?"

"Who?"

"That, holding Geoff?" she sneered

"Oh, that's Rachel Casserly, Geoff's new girlfriend."

"Really...news to me...[gasp]...and he...gave her the ring he gave me!" she yelped seeing Geoff put the sapphire ring on her finger

"Bridgette Stevely, don't tell me you're jealous." Gwen smirked

"No...No of course I'm not."

"Oh my God, you're sooo Jealous!"

"No I'm not, lets go."

"Whatever you say." They left and Stan approached Brian

"Hey Brian, if I be the Green Hornet, will you be Kato?"

"No."

"Oh please...please please please please please please." Stand begged

"...Alright I'll be Kato."

"YES!"

Meanwhile Chris was in his office having another chat with Doctor Steiner.

"Oh Chris, how goes zhe movie?"

"Worse then expected, I think I'm gonna activate the microchips as planned."

"Good for you...you now how to right?" Steiner asked

"Yeah..." he got out a remote "I'll be in touch."

"Okay, but zhe Office is on now, and I'll be sleeping soon, so be careful."

"Right." their conversation became disconnected "[Sigh]...I should have known they would all suck at acting...oh well..."

Meanwhile Gwen dressed in her Batgirl outfit she found in the prop room. Man she could put Barbara Gordon to shame. She even made it look tight and sexy to you know, show off. Until she saw an unfamiliar face in the hallway

"Ahem..."

"Harley Quinn?" Gwen asked

"What's cooking doll-face." the character said in a very convincing accent. She took off the jester crown and mask "Just kidding, it's me Courtney."

"Court? Wow...you make a good Harley Quinn."

"Correction Batgirl...a _bad _Harley Quinn." and the two shared a kiss-WHAT!

"Oh Gwen I've always loved this secret dating of ours...it's extra dirty." Courtney said "And giving our acting abilities, VERY convincing."

"I know, I love it too, I love Bridgette, but shes no you."

"Aw thanks...and...since we have been secretly dating awhile, I wanted to give you something."

"Awwwww, what is it?" Gwen asked. Courtney got on one knee

"Gwen, I've loved you for a long time, and I've waited for this moment for awhile...so...would you marry me Gwen?"

It hit her like a bombshell, but for some reason, the dirty Gwen just had to say

"Oh, of course Courtney!" she accepted the diamond ring and a hug from HER fiance No.1

"Oh yay, you won't regret this Gwen, I'll start planning, see you at the party." Courtney ran off.

"Ah...yes." Gwen swooned completely forgetting about the girl she _**also**_ loved.

She was passing Chris's office to hear him talking on the phone.

"I know I know...It's going terrible...look, it's too much money...you're right...you're right sir, I have to do it, I have to cancel the sequel." Gwen gasped

"No...No." she dashed off towards her and Bridgette's suite. While in Chris's office he thought

_Hook, Line, and Sinker..._

"Bridge-whoa!" Gwen barged in

"Like it?"

"Bridgette pulled off the best Supergirl, with an equally skimpy outfit on, she gave Gwen's gaping mouth a looooong kiss.

"Look babe, there's something I gotta tell you."

"What is it?"

"Chris is trying to cancel our sequel!"

"What, no he can't do that!"

"He can...and he is."the Goth hung her head

"Well...maybe this will make you feel better Batgirl."

"What?" she saw Bridgette get on her knees, and Gwen went wide eyed...

"Gwenny...I love you...more then anyone else in the world...I want us to finally be a family...would you marry me?"

She froze, but Gwen realized she knew she loved Bridgette...she had to say-

"Yes." she started to cry...two kinds of tears...make that three.

"Yay...wow...nice ring." she said admiring the ring Courtney gave her "Who gave you this baby?"

"Oh uh...no one?" Gwen shrugged sheepishly

"Well, I'll put it on this hand...what does it matter were gay anyhow right?" the surfer girl chuckled

"Yeah...yeah." Bridgette stood up and planted her lips on Gwen's.

"I love you..."

"I love you too Bridge..."

"And no matter what what happens just know were in it together."

"Yeah."

And in his office Chris sat back in his easy chair with the remote with his fingers on the reactor buttons of Gwen and Bridgette.

"And here...we go." he activated their microchips.

"Huh."

"What the?" suddenly the two started to react. Their eyes became red and tired...they became evil once more...slaves to Chris's doing, numbers started to go off in their heads. And they could see nothing

_Ascension: 34, 7, 56, 47, 66, 99, 1, 60, 62, 44-_

"So...Chris wants a good sequel, does he?" Bridgette asked

"Yeah...we should give it to him...its only fair."

"And we have the experience...I'm getting tired of everyone here anyhow...lets kill em for reals this time!"

"Yeah...minus Courtney."

"What was that Gwen?"

"Nothing." "Now uh...lets load up on guns." she said changing the subject smacking her lips.

"I've got plenty that I just found in the closet." Gee wonder how they got there.

"Now lets begin at the party...and hope they watch out." Gwen said

"Cause the Kissing Killers are back...and _badder _then ever-Muha ha ha...hahhahahahahahahaha!" I see Bridgette's evil laugh has improved.

"Well...eat your heart out Joker...you've been outdone." Chris said sitting back watching all the events unfold via video screen.

**And all the murder and good stuff begins next...I PROMISE...but this will not be possible without your REVIEWS! Thank you and get ready!**

Owen: The Incredible Hulk; Marvel: Their size similarities

Gwen: Batgirl; DC: If anything, it's cause most believe her and Supergirl have a thing between them

Heather: Catwoman; DC: Their both underhanded and love the high life

Duncan: The Joker; DC: same hair color, and they like to watch people get hurt

Leshawna: Bane; DC: size and attitude

Geoff: Superman; DC: I was at a loss on who should dress as Superman, i flipped a coin

Izzy: Poison Ivy; DC: the hair and crazy factor

DJ: Green Lantern; DC: same skin color, but quite frankly, that's it

Lindsay: Wonder Woman; DC: the bustiness value

Bridgette: Supergirl; DC: same hair, and it's believed her and Batgirl have a thing

Trent: The Green Goblin; Marvel: Eh, Trent likes green

Eva: Wolverine; Marvel: the toughness factors they bring

Harold: Spiderman; Marvel: Couldn't you totally see Harold as Spiderman?

Courtney: Harley Quinn; DC: THE ONLY 2 REASONS, is their crazy value, and cause Harley and Joker have a thing

Sadie: Dee-Dee 2; DC: they are twins

Beth: Martian ManHunter; DC: In young Justice, Martian Manhunter's niece is voiced by Beth's voice actor

Cody: Robin (Tim Drake); DC: similar size to Tim Drake

Tyler: Batman (Bruce Wayne); DC: Just cause he and Cody are bros, that's it

Katie: Dee-Dee 1; DC: twins again

Justin: Captain America; Marvel: He likes the limelight

Noah: The Riddler; DC: they were separated at birth

Ezekiel: Danny Phantom; Butch Hartman: Zeke is a moron

Alejandro: Two-Face; DC: Al has a Two-Face personality, and like Harvey Dent, was tortured as a kid, but always surpressed his anger, and then snaps. Unlike Harvey, Alejandro's evil side surfaces far more often then "Big Bad Harv" He was the most logical character choice I made

Sierra: Red Claw; DC: I was running out of female comic book characters.

Lee: The Human Torch; Marvel: The hair, and matching with his siblings

Megan: Invisigirl; Marvel: matching sibs, and the only girl by comparison same as Fantastic 4

Marc: Mr. Fantastic; Marvel: sibs, and they're both smart

Tony: The Thing; Marvel: literally just sibs.

Joe: The Flash; DC: Again, running out of ideas (And cause someone has to e the Flash)

Erin: Talia Al-Ghul; DC: same hair

Jason: Nightwing (Dick Greyson); DC: They're both pretty arrogant and stubborn

Stan: The Green Hornet; N/A: I could see Stan Smith as Green Hornet

Brian: Kato; N/A: Him and Stan share the same voice actor

Andy: Lex Luthor; DC: He was wearing a tux

Mike: The Penguin; DC: size and certain accessories

Blaineley: The Black Canary; DC: they're both blondes

Rachel: Lois Lane: her and Superman are an item

**These are the heroes and villains the cast mates are portraying. If you want them changed by the next chapter LET ME KNOW ASAP...PLEASE REVIEW!**


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